Shiz University's Wicked
by Rose DiVerona
Summary: Oneshot, musicalverse. Humor. What if Shiz University was performing Wicked? What would happen to our main characters when the plot was revealed?


A/N: This is a really random oneshot, based upon a common but interesting thought: What if _Wicked_ did _Wicked_? My BFF and I made up a lot of it on our way to see _Wicked_ in Chicago a year and a half ago, but I'm just now submitting it, since I had to write a beginning and end. Short, but I find it amusing.

Disclaimer: I don't own it, because if I did, I wouldn't be on this site. You gotta wonder - if you were involved in _Wicked_, would you appreciate or disappreciate fanfic? Would you be glad your work inspired others, or would you think it took away from the original? Hm.

* * *

The students of Shiz University gathered in the linguification lecture hall, eagerly chattering amongst themselves. Friends ran from group to group, and a general air of excitement pervaded the air. In the center of all the noise, a small knot of five students stayed close together. Elphaba, Galinda, and Fiyero all looked elated; Nessarose and Boq were not so happy. 

"Oh, I'm so nervous!" Nessa anxiously wrung her hands. "Elphaba, I don't think I can do this after all. Maybe you'd better audition without me."

"Don't be silly," Elphaba scoffed. "You'll be great, Nessa. Just remember to speak up and don't stutter."

"What's the play called again?" Boq asked shyly.

"It's called _Wicked_," Galinda, who was bouncing up and down and beaming, reminded him. "I'm so excited! I hear there's this really popular girl, and I just _know _I'd be perfect for her role!"

"It sounds cool," Fiyero said nonchalantly, leaning slightly on Nessa's wheelchair.

Elphaba shot him a covert look, then quickly averted her eyes. Galinda suddenly sidled up and hugged her boyfriend around the neck, giggling. Fiyero looked mildly uncomfortable. Elphaba suppressed a snort. Nessa took Boq's hand. He grimaced but didn't pull away.

"Oh, when is Madame Morrible going to get here?" Galinda whined.

The words had hardly left her mouth before the doors were flung open and the headmistress herself strode in. Silence fell over the waiting group instantly, all eyes following the woman as she mounted the platform at the head of the room and fixed her gaze upon them.

"Good afternoon, students," she called out, her voice clear and carrying. "I'm glad to see auditions have such a wide turnout. This should be an extremely successful play if we all come together. I know many of you have a talent for playacting, and I can assure you that your talents will be put to good use. I am now going to hand out parts for you to read with another student. Please be patient, as this may take a few minutes."

As she moved through the waiting crowd, the five friends watched in fascination. Every time Morrible sashayed near them, however, she would ignore them, so that by the time the Madame was empty-handed, none of the five had a part.

"Madame Morrible?" Elphaba asked loudly as Morrible passed close by.

"Yes, dearie?" Morrible leered at her top student.

"We," Elphaba indicated herself and her sister and friends, "did not receive parts."

Morrible's smile grew. "Well, naturally. I already have parts for the five of you decided upon."

"You do?" Nessa asked fearfully.

"Yes. No need to worry, Miss Nessarose. I know you shall rise to the occasion brilliantly. Here-" she pulled out five scripts from seemingly nowhere and handed them out. "Why don't you five go into the Life Sciences hall and read over these?"

"Don't you want to tell us which characters we are?" Fiyero asked.

"Oh, I think you'll be able to figure it out," Morrible smiled, and swept away.

Completely bemused, Elphaba led the others out of the loud hall and into the one next door, which was much quieter, as it was empty. The five lined up on a bench and began to read their scripts. After hardly any time at all, Galinda gasped.

"But – but there's a character in here with my name! Only it's spelled differently…"

Elphaba, who was a much faster reader, added, "There's a character named after me as well. _And _she's green. And – sweet Oz – this seems so…_déjà vu_. Nessa, Boq, you're in here as well!"

Excitedly, all of them, even Fiyero, began to read faster. After a time, Elphaba spoke up again.

"Fiyero, here you are. And – Galinda, you're giving me that hat that you gave me Fiyero's first day here. Remember?"

Galinda only nodded distractedly as she struggled to remember what it had been like to hate Elphaba.

This time, nobody spoke until they had all finished the play. Then their eyes met, as the same, horrible realization washed over them all simultaneously.

"It's real," Boq whispered.

Elphaba nodded. "I know it seems…impossible, but I think you're right. This is _our _story. There are too many parallels. This is our…our future."

They sat in stunned silence. Then pandemonium broke out, everybody jumping to their feet.

"I don't wanna die!" Nessa wailed.

"Wicked Witch?" Elphaba wrinkled her nose.

"I don't wanna be a scarecrow!" Fiyero complained, at the same time as Boq said "I don't wanna be a tinman!"

"I get to be pop-u-lar!" Galinda sang happily.

Nessa began to frown as she digested the events of the play. Her mouth opened and she glared at Boq. "You mean all this time, you've been lying to me? You don't love me!" she reached up and smacked him hard. Boq winced and turned to Galinda.

"You _never _give me a chance!" he accused, and smacked Galinda. She squealed and spun to face Fiyero.

"You dirty, rotten cheater!" she gave him a big slap across the face. The Winkie immediately turned to Elphaba and slapped her.

"Ow! What was that for?" she gasped.

Fiyero looked confused. "I don't know…everyone else was doing it."

"Well, fine!" Elphaba slapped him back.

Just then, the door opened and Dr. Dillamond came in. "Something baaaaad is happening in Oz…" he predicted darkly. Madame Morrible came in after him.

"Well, students, what do you think of the play so far?" she asked.

Elphaba skimmed through a page, her face growing steadily more horrified, before looking up at Morrible in shock. "You're the bad guy! You kill Nessa!"

"What??!!" Nessarose shouted. Her eyes narrowed and she inched forward in her wheelchair. "Get her!"

Immediately, the five of them turned on Morrible, who began to look very worried. Just as the charge began, however, the Wizard appeared overhead in his balloon.

"I am a sentimental man, who always longed to be a father," he sang.

Galinda stabbed a finger into the air. "_He's _Horrible Morrible's boss! _He's _the evil mastermind! Seize him!"

"Get on, everyone!" Elphaba held out a broomstick. Quickly, everyone but Nessa crowded on and they lifted off.

"Elphaba! What about me?" Nessa yelled.

"Come on Nessa! You can do it! All it takes is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust!" Elphaba urged her younger sister.

"Oh, yeah!" Nessa's wheelchair began to lift up into the air after her friends.

As they all began to pursue the balloon, a crack of thunder made them stop and look around. Madame Morrible, ten feet below, was staring up at the sky, concentrating hard.

"Oh no! She's using her mind powers to control the weather!" Boq warned.

A fork of lightning sliced through the blanket of dark over their heads, and the tail end of the broom caught on fire.

"Uh-oh! Everyone off!" Elphaba ordered. They all jumped except Fiyero, who stood up on the broom and began to surf it to the ground. The Wizard's balloon had also caught on fire, and the Wizard jumped out.

"I'll save you!" Nessa announced, and she swept underneath the Wizard in her wheelchair and broke his fall.

Once everyone was once again safely on the ground, the adults melted into the background and the students continued to think about the play and its many shocking events.

Boq approached Elphaba and spoke in an angry voice, "It's due to you I'm made of tin, your spell made this come true! So for once I'm glad I'm heartless, I'll be heartless killing you!"

Elphaba gaped at him, appalled. "What????"

Boq shrugged, returning to his normal voice. "I don't know. Something like that is near the end of the script."

"O-kay…"

"I can't believe this!" Galinda exclaimed. "Elphaba, you would fake your own death and not even bother _telling _me you were really alive? How could you do that to me!" She shed an angry tear and sniffled loudly, and was ignored.

"We end up together," Fiyero muttered quietly to Elphaba.

She blushed and tried not to show her pleasure. Ending up with Fiyero was one part of the story she could live with.

"I refuse to believe this is true," Nessa said finally, throwing her script on the floor. "Think about it – it only becomes true if we let it. Now that we know the truth about, well, _everything_, we can fix it all and none of it will ever happen."

Morrible, who had retreated into the shadows, cackled and stepped forward. "You can't change things already set in motion, I'm afraid. You can't alter destiny."

"Says who?" Elphaba asked defiantly, planting her hands on her hips.

"Says me," Morrible replied. She suddenly threw a potion at her five students. A cloud billowed out, catching all of them by surprise and sending them slumping to the floor, unconscious. Morrible laughed. "When they wake up, they won't remember a thing." She said to herself. "Now, if I can just convince Dr. Dillamond that we should do _Grease _instead…"

* * *

A/N: My school is doing _Grease _for our spring musical, so that's where that came from. I hope you enjoyed, review? 


End file.
